25 March 2012 it hurts, so badly...

never thought that things would turn out this way

im tired

tired of being so stupid

for trusting ppl so easily

if i dont

it wouldnt be hurting so badly now 

am i right??

call me stupid

call me dumb or whatever

coz I am

maybe I'm just lousy

nv good enough at keeping someone's heart with me

now i felt more like a 3rd party rather den she being the one

why dont u tell me earlier

why must u do this to me

tell me why

why wait till now

how i hope everything was a lie

i wanna believe that she doesnt exist

i wanna believe that its just a lie that u make up so that 

my life would be easier for that 8 months

i really just cant believe everything that u told me ytd night

how can u like 2 girls at the same time

how can u be so close to a girl that u dont like

how? why?

i wanna know everything

i wanna know how is she like

if being with her makes u happier

im willing to back out

back out from everything

my heart is tired

my brain is tired

tired of thinking

tired of trying

i need the reasons why

really

can u dont do this to me?

im not saying u do i on purpose

u said u have feelings

but how do u have feelings for 2 person at a time

i dont understand i really dont

enlighten me please...

maybe like what i always thought at the start

its just too good to be true

im not good enough for u

not smart

not rich

not good looking

not girly enough

im fierce

im bad

i club 

i drink

i dont know 

i really dont know whats wrong

please dont keep silent

its kiling me

i wanna know everything

really everything

im dying inside...

very soon..

my dear hongyu,

i really really wish u are here

stop me from crying

scold me

wake me up

from this nightmare

that i nv wanted to have

i miss you alot

i need u to be here

right nowww

im dying...