9january2011 gotta wake up!

I'm very very angry with myself. What have I been doing since last august. Really have to wake up and stop dreaming. Stop leaving in my own world. I feel so lousy with my brain being empty. All I know is work and going to sch for attendance. Wasting my parent money. Exams are coming. Exam fees not even paid. What am I doing? I myself got no idea. Everytime I step into the sch I felt like I'm living in a very different world from them. It's like they are studying. They know what's going on. But for me, everytime I step into the lecture theatre for lessons. I felt so lost, felt so helpless. It's like I can't catch up with the rest. I spend almost all of my free time working. Distracted by things I shouldn't concentrate on. When I'm at work I kept thinking about sch work, but I can't stop working. Coz If I don't work, I've got no money. I'm spending too much time working. Sometimes I really wish I'm someone who can't study in the past. At least I've a clear path of where I'm heading to in the future. Now it's like. I'm stuck here in uni doing something that I don't really have total interest in. And if I don't get my cert there's no whr I can go with that stupid alevel cert. sometimes,. I just find my life very tiring. Got too many things to handle. And I've decided to quit my cca after my first year. I want to get back on track. Get back to how things used to be like. Study, play sports and be happy. I needa learn how to study again. Prelims is in march. I really dk how to take that exam. I need to be more disciplined! I need to prioritize. From this moment onwards, my life is about sch and work, please no more other distractions or commitments for me till im more discipline! If I'm able to spare extra time next year, I wanna join track. I missed that feeling. That feeling of having an awesome track team. I need to keep fit, instead of having so much nightlife and suppering. Shall not stay out late So much anymore till my exams are over. I really gotta wake up!